Staying Connected with Your Partner When Your Parents – Having a family is a dream that a lot of people share, and finding the right person for you to have children with is a wonderful thing to happen. However, being a parent isn’t easy, and even if you and your partner are facing those challenges together as a team, this still doesn’t leave as much time for each other as you used to have. It can be easy to begin to take each other for granted, putting aside your needs because of a career, prioritizing your kids’ needs, and the other general ups and downs that life will throw at you.
While getting caught up in the trials and tribulations of life is normal, if you do start to neglect your romantic relationship with your partner, this can cause rifts between you that are hard to fix. This is why it is so important to make sure that you stay connected to your partner and make time for them. Below are some tips on keeping the spark alive and letting your partner know that you appreciate and love them.
The key to having a healthy relationship is communication. Even if you have been with your partner for years and know them like the back of your hand, you’re not a mind reader, and neither are they. You can’t expect them to automatically know what is bothering you, and vice versa. If they have done something to upset you, or you can tell that something is upsetting them, talk to them about it. Yes, this might risk an argument, but all couples do this from time to time. Nonetheless, it’s better to get these issues out into the open so that you can find a resolution together as a team rather than let resentments build quietly under the surface of your relationship.
It can be easier than you might think for you and your partner to fall off of the same page. It’s OK to have a difference of opinion, but when it comes to making decisions about how to parent your kids, financial management, and other important choices to be made in your household, you both need to be working together as a team. This is another reason why communication is so essential so that you can both continue to work towards the same goals together and support each other in the process. If you start competing with one another or making choices that impact the family without your partner’s input, this is undermining to them and disrespectful.
Monthly Date Night
If you can manage to have a date night together once a week, that’s even better, but the reality is that between your jobs and looking after the kids, finding the time to do this once a month might be challenging enough. However, setting aside one Friday or Saturday night a week to go out together without the kids is a good idea and can help you stay connected. It’s a chance for you both to catch up outside the house, and be romantic with each other again and have some fun.
You might only have the budget and time for one annual family vacation a year, but if you can take one or two weekend breaks a year as well, make at least one of them a trip for just you and your partner. If you have a trusted friend or relative who doesn’t mind looking after the kids for a few days, a weekend getaway with your partner is another opportunity to rekindle the romance between you and have an adventure together. Whether it’s an escape to the beach, a mountainside retreat, or a vibrant city break, you’ll both have a great time and come back feeling refreshed.
Surprise Each Other
Another thing that can kill the romance and make you feel taken for granted is when things get too predictable. While your daily routine might make it hard to be spontaneous most of the time, there are smaller gestures you can do at home that will still be appreciated and make your partner feel special. For example, run them a hot bath if you know they have had a hard day, or cook a romantic meal if the kids are going to be out with their friends. You could even order flowers to be delivered at work or have them waiting for when your partner gets home. Then, in the run-up to Christmas, treat them to one of these Christmas chocolate gifts as a precursor to their main presents on the day. All of these small gestures will go a long way and show your partner that you are grateful for them.
Spend Time Together with Your Friends
Spending time together alone is a must, but you should both be socializing together with your friends, too. You can get together with your kids and your friends’ kids at a BBQ or even a group camping trip if this is easier. However, going out together for dinner and drinks without the kids in tow is also beneficial, as you will all need some time with just the adults. Hanging out with your friends without your partner is equally important, and you should encourage them to do the same, as although being together as a team is a part of being in a relationship, it’s good to remain individuals too and give each other some space.
Look After Yourself
Finally, if you’re not looking after yourself, this can lead to strains and tensions in your relationship. Being supportive of your partner is important, but you need to put your needs first sometimes, and your partner also needs to do the same. This isn’t the same as being selfish; it’s simply taking care of yourself so that you can be at your best and help you feel happier. Eating well, getting regular exercise, and even spending time enjoying your hobby each week are all basic self-care tips you need to be incorporating into your routine.
Having a family is an incredible chapter in your life, but parenting isn’t easy, and it can put strains on your relationship if you’re not careful. To make sure you’re staying connected to your partner once you become parents, use the tips above to keep the romance alive and let your partner know that they are seen and loved.
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